EMMY

 Her name was Emmy. I know little about her. She was my great aunt, the older sister of my grandfather Karl. I never met him either, since he died in Shanghai--a stateless refugee--before my parents had met. He might have told me about his older sister. 

No one to blame for the silence, I suppose. My mother left Germany when she was 11 years old. Her scant memories of this woman were the remaining tidbits of a living, breathing person. Thankfully, I possessed the prescience to ask my mother about Emmy during my mother's last years. My grandmother Kaethe--who lived until I was in my early 20's--never mentioned her sister-in-law who nagged her to dress more stylish. Omi Kaethe suffered severe depression and enumerable losses. Possibly, Emmy represented one more tragedy my grandmother could not bear. 

Emmy sent her teenage son, Hans, to Shanghai before World War II broke out; my mother knew Hans in Shanghai. I met him in San Francisco as a young child, but he died early on, in the late 1950's. Hans and Elfie, his wife, had a son Robert. His wife, who I knew throughout my childhood, remarried. Their son, Robert, appeared at my wedding in 1976. That was the last anyone in the family saw him. 

I am sure Emmy had friends in Berlin. She and her mother, my grandmother Klara, owned a fancy dress shop. Emmy and Klara exemplified the independent, entrepreneural, and fashionable women of the 1920's and early 1930's, a new demographic in post World War I Germany. I picture Emmy tall, handsome, and dressed in the 1920's style of cloche hats and knee length dresses with dropped waists. I love the style and emulated the mode in the 1980's when Laura Ashley clothes were the rage. I continue to wear cloche hats . 

Emmy had relationships with men, as evidenced by her last name Brodnitz. Who was he? Emmy bore a son, Hans, with someone, but who? Hans was known as Hans Mayer. Emmy must have been a dutiful daughter, since she did not leave her elderly mother alone after the war began.  She knew to send her son away though. I discovered evidence that she traveled around Germany, perhaps to evade the Nazis. Her end is terrible, sent to Estonia on a train and shot behind a depot. The Nazis tried desperately to destroy each and every Jew. However, they failed. I am here to remember.

My sister and I arranged to have a Stolperstein placed in front of her last residence in Charlottenburg--Wilmersdorf. a fashionable neighborhood in Berlin. A few people attended the ceremony today. Gunther Demning, the artist responsible for the Stolpersteine project, personally placed her stone in the cobblestone sidewalk. We say the Kaddish and her name. One of millions.

Emmy's mother Klara as a young woman. I do not have a picture of Emmy.

Stolperstein for Emmy Brodnitz (nee Wolffheim) 11/9/2021

© 2021 Karen Levi

The Holocaust is Obsessed with Us*

 In July 2021, I wrote a blog about a conspiracy of silence among therapists of the 1970's through the 1980's. I questioned why my unusual family background was discounted as an influence during my formative years of childhood. Perplexed that living in a large metropolitan area populated by a sizable Jewish population, a psychotherapist who treated me seemed unaware of ongoing research regarding the characteristics of children of Holocaust survivors. 

This week I had the pleasure to listen and watch a live streamed video of a psychiatrist from Vancouver B.C. Dr. Robert Krell, a child survivor of the Nazi invasion of the Netherlands, describe his experiences and those of other survivors and their families. Born in 1940, he emigrated to Canada--with his parents, also survivors--in the very early 1950's. He earned his medical degree in the United States. Dr. Krell treated and studied Holocaust survivors for decades. He corrobrated my observations, which I have included in the two memoirs I have written about my family. During the post World War II period,  professionals recommended that survivors forget past trauma. The denial which resulted from this advice profoundly influenced the victims and future generations.

Dr. Krell stated that the world began to regard the survivors of the Holocaust in a different light in the 1980's. Imagine, 40 years after an event, psychologists and sociologists realize that surviving trauma effected the overall adaptation of victims and their offspring. Think about the time span for a moment: given the latency between precipitating event and serious study of the negative consequences to the victims would have us considering the "boat people" of southeast Asia in 2021!

Returning to my experience, Dr. Krell clearly stated that psychotherapists, in the 1970's and 1980's, were in denial about the survivors of the Holocaust. These same psychiatrists, psychologists, and social workers were terrified to delve into a subject that possibly touched them or at the least was a horrific chapter in recent history. Though the therapists encouraged introspection, the message to "get on with your life" was the cogent message. I was told, "why are you so concerned what your mother did," or "that was the Depression, everyone did that." Actually I still hear this type of comment. But the truth is that my mother was a young child in Germany during the Depression. And my father was a child and teenager, living a fairly privileged existence, at the time, with the exception of the growing threat of Nazis.

Would my psychological growth have accelerated if I had been aware of the commonalities among children of trauma victims? If my therapist would have regarded me as part of a group? A question that occupies my mind yet remains impossible to answer. I am not complaining for I feel fortunate, but my curiousity is piqued.

Dr. Krell reported that survivors, including himself, often are questioned: "Can't you put the Holocaust behind you?" or "Why are you obsessed with the Holocaust?" I have had these accusatory questions posed to me. Dr. Krell eloquently answered, "The Holocaust is obsessed with us!" 

My original family is embedded in the neural pathways and cells of my brain, in the form of memory and ingrained patterns of thought. Yes, I have evolved. I am not particularly dysfunctional as a human. But just ask my niece, she will tell you. Recently, she exclaimed, "You and Mom are exactly alike. You are one." 

My sister and I are polar opposites in personality; yet, apparently our fundamental behaviors originate from the same source in time and place, which would be the 1950's in San Francisco. However, not so--our mother and father and grandmothers remained in Shanghai, Berlin, and Konstanz, Germany. Actually, the adults who raised my sister and I lived in the dark alleys and narrow streets of memories, regrets, and guilt. 

*Originally heard on October 28, 2021, by Dr. Robert Krell. https://liberation75.jwpapp.com/m/oVFrQwnl/testimony-and-trauma-introducing-the-last-chance-collection?list=PGAXsioh

©2021 Karen Levi

How to Reduce your Impact on climate change--10 simple tasks

 The clock to save our planet is running down. Your time on the planet has always been limited. Now that we are older, we visualize an end to our bodily lives. I do not know about you, but I want to leave some evidence that I made an effort to maintain the earth as a livable environment. Certainly, I feel powerless in view of such a tremendous task. Apparently, small changes accomplished by many

reduce the deleterious effects of greenhouse gas emissions. Burning fossil fuels, cutting down trees, and mishandling of land usage result in the release of carbon dioxide. Methane--another greenhouse gas--is caused by landfills, livestock grazing, and gas appliances. So, as a reminder, do your share:

• Designate one or two days/week that are no-car days
• Purchase a small or compact hybrid or electric car
• Drive/take a train instead of fly for short distances
• Compost 
• Eat less meat
• Join a tree planting effort
• Recycle, recyle, recycle
• Install solar panels if you live in a house
• Explore the source of your electric powerBuy electric appliances

Music is Holy

 

  

       After the Kabbalat Shabbat, the young woman bolstered her courage and stepped up to the rabbi, “The music inspires me more than the actual prayers. The melodies, along with the Hebrew, transport me to a place faraway. Is this, o.k.? Or am I not doing what I should?” 

      “Go on,” Rabbi Ruth encouraged the woman to continue. 

      “Sometimes, when we sing, I feel I am in a room with wooden benches. Men daven and chant. The elderly, bearded men wear tallit and sway. It could be the old synagogue in Worms, Germany that I visited a few years ago. But I am there—connected by music to people praying a hundred years ago.” 

      “There are no ‘shoulds.’ That is beautiful, Kendra. I am touched that our music transports you to the past. This is a sacred bridge. Music is certainly a form of prayer. And prayer is music.” The rabbi touched her heart as she spoke. 

      “How so?” Kendra asked the rabbi. 

      “The music connects you to prayer from the past. The music allows you to lift yourself into a mystical realm. The Hebrew words are like poetry when read and repeated. Surprisingly, the translated versions are inspiring, as well. Joined together, the words in either language, form a rhythm that is verbal but nonetheless moving.” 

      “Mm. I see Rabbi. Sometimes when we sing the music, I enter a space of raw emotion. I sense fragile, pure feeling, that is all.” 

      “That is prayer in my mind, Kendra. You are blessed. Continue your path--see where the journey leads. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Amen.” 

      “Shabbat Shalom.” Kendra responded, as she walked away. 

Epilogue: 

The talented Lin Miranda-Manuel wrote a song, Almost Like Prayer, a validation for this little story.

Susan Pops Her Head Up

 My friend, Susan, who died in 2017, much too young from cancer, would speak out. 

Recently, I watched a documentary about Julius Rosenwald directed by Aviva Kempner. Julius Rosenwald was born in the United States to German Jewish immigrant parents in 1862. His parents followed the typical trajectory from peddler to clothier. After being apprenticed to his uncles in New York City, Julius and his brother started a clothing manufacturing business. Julius, an excellent entrepeneur, eventually partnered with Richard Sears in the Sears Roebuck Company. The rest is history as the Sears Roebuck Company grew, becoming a household name and serving a practical, often necessary role for Americans. 

Rosenwald was determined to help those in need, a Jewish value he learned from his rabbi. Mr. Rosenwald worked and lived during the Progressive Era, a time when society valued and encouraged philanthropy. The Progressive Era, much like our 1960's-1970's, saw the likes of Louis Brandeis, W.E.B. DuBois, Upton Sinclair, and Jane Addams, to name a few well-known philanthropists. 

Julius Rosenwald, encouraged by Booker T. Washington, agreed to serve on the Board of Directors of the Tuskegee Institute. Recognizing that the plight of African Americans in the South was dire, Rosenwald assisted small communities in the deep South to build schools/community centers. He provided funds, insisting that the towns match the donations with local financial, moral, and physical support. The schools uplifted young black persons through education--academic and practical--for several generations. 

The 1954 Supreme Court decision, Brown vs. the Board of Education, resulted in the desegragation of schools. The Rosenwald Schools exemplified separate but (not) equal opportunities, so prevalent in the United States in the first half of the 20th century. Therefore, the schools were deemed illegal, though they continued in parts of the South, due to noncompliance with the Supreme Court decision.

Rosenwald's actions demonstrated a fine example of Tikkun Olam, the Jewish concept of repairing the world, and he committed a true Mitzvah, as he chose to remain out of the limelight while doing good. Julius Rosenwald's support enabled the expansion of the YMCA in large cities and fellowships for young artists of all races.

So why would Susan pop her head up? Why would she speak out? She reminded me not to be complacent. I know enough history to understand the context of Rosenwald's charity, the Progressive Era. Of course, the former students of the schools he supported would be nostalgic and have fond memories of their education, quite precious during the Jim Crow era. Except what about the children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren of the students? What are their thoughts about separate schools, fellowships, and opportunities, existing alongside but not within mainstream society?

 I learned many years ago, that African Americans refuse to be treated as children or uninformed citizens. African Americans prefer self determination in lieu of paternalism. What struck me after watching the film was the awful state of education I witnessed in my life long after Rosenwald's time? How do the Rosenwald schools relate to tracking of Black students, de facto segregation, bussing, standardized testing, affirmative action, and now the inclusion of critical race theory in the curriculum? The Rosenwald schools reinforced the status quo of racism by providing separate but not equal education. This was not Rosenwald's fault; however, it must be said. 

Certainly, the education of all students of color improved during the 20th century. Progress continues, albeit with strong protests from some white parents and politicians. Backlash against improvements in the education of all students, especially those of color, occurred cyclically in the 20th century; we now find ourselves in such a period in the 21st century. 

Kempner's movie and a discussion my synagogue held with Dorothy Canter did not include a reckoning of a wider and longer perspective. Yes, Julius Rosenwald was an exemplary American Jewish citizen. And yes, the schools still standing should become historical landmarks. (Some are, I believe.) Nevertheless, we should ask critical questions--with a historical viewpoint-- to advance contemporary education for students, including those who are minorities. 

Eat Popcorn

 On Thursday night, I noticed a striking picture on Twitter from @unequalscenes. The photo of a man riding a bike on a flooded street in New York City during Wednesday nights' torrential rain caught my attention-- the man was delivering pizza. I, like hundreds or thousands, commented in shock, dismay, and anger. What the hell is this? Some selfish blockhead ordered pizza during a serious storm? There are so many jarring aspects to this photograph, hence it went viral. I am pleased to see that a photographer has made it his business to record the inequities of our world. There is a website--unequalscenes.com/projects, that explains the efforts of this photographer. 

Inequity, perhaps that is the word I need. Inequity is not new, but I notice contrasts between the rich and poor, women and men, entitled and excluded, younger and older to name a few, occurring with increased frequency in my immediate environment. What path did we take, what corner turned, what ship sailed that takes people to new destinations of self absorption? Who, what, where did the older generations go wrong? How did increased self-esteem evolve into me, me, me!

An opportunity may exist, but the choice to act upon it is voluntary. Yes, one can call Uber Eats or Grubhub to order a pizza. And food delivery can be useful. However, if there is a raging storm, why would an individual think that someone else should risk their safety to satisfy a desire for pizza? Where is conscience? In my previous residence, I saw one latte, etc. being delivered. WTF to be blunt?

I remember asking my mother, "What is conscience?" I read the word as con--science. She explained the concept to me. As a child, I visualized a person on my shoulder or in my brain advising me on right vs. wrong. Of course, I developed an overactive superego, but that is another story to tell.

I do not ask why the worker went out in the rain? I know the answer. I ask why do consumers think they should do or because it is available. As I have written before, I am imperfect. I buy unnecessary items. I indulge in specialty foods and drinks. However, I do have a conscience. I know when to stop. And I taught my children this idea and concomitant behaviors.

How is it that FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) is a legitimate concern? Every day we decide and then act. We forego one experience for another. Hopefully, we accomplish what is necessary and remain cognizant of our family's needs and our well-being. Then we can have fun. 

I am extremely conscious of the days racing by. I am sad beyond sad that I cannot travel now. But I know that this is what life has thrown at me. Yes, I am missing out. Yes, I cannot go to the theater or concerts. I hate it! And I hate the virus. My solution is to substitute other activities for traveling or going out at night. 

So please, when a hurricane is raging or the earth is shaking or a fire is on the horizon, eat popcorn instead of pizza. 

I CANNOT "LET IT GO"--IN MEMORY OF MY MOTHER

Recently, I engaged in another frustrating interchange with a relative about the COVID-19 vaccine. She is polar opposite to me on a variety of subjects. Her history is troubled, and she has embraced evangelical Christianity for many years. That in itself is not problematic, but as a result,  this type of Christianity has influenced her to choose paths that lead to extreme thinking. How does a bright woman--born to a Jewish mother--become a rabid follower of right wing conspiracy theories? Her arguments are delineated logically, but, to me, they are strangely alien and paranoid. Her personal viewpoints are couched in research, which is dubious or outright fallacious. 

A few weeks ago, she commented--on social media--that New York City's requirement of proof of vaccination for in-restaurant customers was "like the Nazis." Needless to say, she caused a firestorm of protests, beginning with her sister. My sister and I followed with outrage, as did many individuals of various genders, races and ages. She or her husband went on to say that requiring proof of vaccination was similar to the Nuremberg Laws of 1935. These comments are inflammatory, dangerous, and misleading. That is clear. But, what concerns me is there are an increasing number of Americans who expound these ideas. My conscience does not allow me to "let this go" any longer. For years, I have heard justification for Trump's presidency--what he said, did, and allowed to happen--from her. I know I am powerless to change this person. She is "free" to say what she wants. You know, "it's a free country." The communication of misinformation, with dangerous consequences, should be a crime. However, disseminating lies is rarely punished.

The Nazi comment was hurtful because my parents were Holocaust survivors. As my mother said, when she watched the Charlottesville march, "those aren't real Nazis. They don't even know what a real Nazi is like." I was shocked at her statement because I thought Charlottesville was bad enough. Nonetheless, individuals born after World War II have no idea about fear and suffering. We simply do not! And that sensitivity and awareness decreases as the years rapidly fall away from post World War II America. I, at least, grew up with adults who had actually experienced Nazis. My peers grew up with parents who had fought in World War II. Someone born in the 1980's or 1990's and onward may not have ever met a person from the World War II era. The suffering endured by those involved in the Korean War, the Cold War, and Vietnam have not effected people born after those horrible conflicts.

Which brings me to our present situation, our plague of 2019--?. COVID-19 is probably as close to true suffering as all of us alive today will experience. I am astounded  when I hear of the selfish acts of my fellow citizens. I am guilty of self-centeredness, since I grieve the loss of the opportunity to travel. I am self-centered, and I focus on reducing this behavior constantly. But there are many among me who feel "they must do-----". I do not need to elaborate, since we all have seen pictures and heard the stories of individuals traveling for pleasure during the pandemic, one example of our self-absorption. I get into trouble by speaking of this. It is true that we all do what we feel is ethically sound. But are we truly making the effort, striving for our best selves? Questions to ponder as we pray, meditate, or think quietly. And, for Jews, 'tis the season.

The main thread of this essay is egocentricism, whether it is refusal to get vaccinated based on the right not to or going on a pleasure trip to escape. I can do what I want to do, no matter. This is our American credo, the basis of our upbringing. We are now reaping the bitter fruits of the primacy of free will and supremacy of the individual. Rugged individualism has its merits but has been tempered by altruism throughout my life. There has been a tug and pull between these philosophies, a balance. Ayn Rand, in her book The Fountainhead, had a character who counteracted the libertarian. As I remember, he was weak and pathetic, but he existed. Now, I see people in our country who truly believe that their freedom of choice is the only factor in making decisions, the best examples being the possessions of automatic weapons and not following normal health precautions. But, almost more frightening, are those who appear liberal, but are actually self-centered to the max. They are the wolves in sheeps' clothing as warned by Jesus in The Sermon on the Mount and described in Aesop's Fables.

As I previously mentioned, Mea Culpa. I am selfish. But, I do temper my self aborption with self-monitoring. I am just as fallible as the next person. However--I have not gone off to a villa in Bali yet. 

One more mention of my mother, she loved the book The Fountainhead and fashioned herself somewhat of a libertarian much to my chagrin. But, I know she never would have refused a vaccination to help to decrease the spread of a deadly virus. She valued health over all else. Why the anti-vaxxers may ask? She saw too many people and loved ones die.

For further reading: 

https://www.ineteconomics.org/perspectives/blog/libertarians-and-the-vaccine-give-me-liberty-and-give-them-death

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-Panic-Virus/Seth-Mnookin/9781439158654