Saturday, March 7, 2020
Notes from The German Trauma by Gitta Sereny
The book is a collection of essays, written from the 1970's to the very early 21st century. The writer, Gita Sereny, was born in 1923 in Vienna. Ms. Sereny was objective and fair. She is not Jewish but refused to comply with the Nazis. Ms. Sereny left her native Austria as a teenager. She gave up a career as an actress to become an investigative journalist. During World War II, she cared for orphans in France. Immediately after the war, she investigated the kidnapping of Polish children by the Nazis.
Reading this book was informative and intense. There were times I had to catch my breath. The work is a compilation for readers who have a solid background in Holocaust history. The subject of the essays ranges from descriptions of the post war generation to the writer's experiences during the war to interviews with infamous actors from the period. I read most of the essays, but I skipped a few which were completely outdated. One caveat--I am the daughter of Holocaust survivors.
The "baby boomers" of Germany grew up in homes, shrouded in mystery, similar to the children of Holocaust survivors did in the 1950's--1970's all over the world. The majority of Jews will squirm at my thesis (derived from reading the book). How can the children of victims be compared to the offspring of perpetrators or bystanders of unspeakable violence? To come of age in a household with unspoken questions and responses is to be ignorant of aspects of one's history, to be insecure and anxious. Growing up with parents preoccupied with unresolved emotions regarding past trauma results in unstable parent-child relationships characterized by the transmission of misundertood grief and guilt. Children assume their complicity in problems their parents experience. Irregardless that children cannot possibly be responsible. Sensing overriding anxiety in a household disrupts the normal psychological development of an individual. Youngsters learn dysfunctional means for dealing with relationships in a home permeated with angst, especially unexplained. The children born in the mid to late 1940's to 1960 in Germany were raised by adults who had witnessed various tragedies of World War II or that their parents were Nazis or fought as soldiers.
The offspring of Holocaust survivors were born to parents scarred in terrible ways, whether they lived in a DP camp, the United States, or Israel. It is interesting that Germans became desentized to the war trials and the plight of the victims. Life moved on, and there was no time or an environment conducive to honest reflection of their complicity. This reaction is similar to the majority of survivors unable to share the horrors of the Holocaust with others. There were jobs to be done, children to be raised, and adjustments to a new life to be made.
America in the 1950's and 1960's was not a place to speak about the dreadful attrocities of World War II. Native born Americans wanted to enjoy the plenty of the post war period and put the Depression and war behind them. Life was fun, pretty, and clean. West Germans wanted to eat again, clean up the rubble, and be accepted in the family of nations. And guilt was too horrible to ponder, accept, and communicate with others. Holocaust survivors in the United States of the post war period aimed to assimilate, procreate, and foremost to be American. No time to think about dead relatives or why the Holocaust occurred. "Holocaust Survivor" was not a designation yet. I dare say most wanted to be normal and left alone.Yet people still whispered, "she was in a 'camp'". And these "survivors" denied the hardships they endured. For German children, growing up, thinking about what one's father, grandfather, or uncle carried out during the war, had to be a living nightmare. Bad news is unpleasant. Not knowing is worse.
The writer interviewed several criminals from World War II. She spoke with Franz Stangl in prison. Mr. Stangl compartmentalized, rationalized, evaded, and repressed his actions. He finally admitted "guilt" to Ms. Sereny and died the next day, still incarcerated.He was an uneducated man which was a commonality among Hitler's highest advisors and generals. Albert Speer was interviewed in his sumptous houses. And he was more arrogant and resistant to introspection. Not surprisingly, he survived prison. He used the word "guilt" in association for his wrongdoing during the war, but he fell short of admitting remorse and repenting. Ms. Sereny observed the John Demjanjuk trial in Israel that began in 1986. She felt he should have been aquitted due to inconsistent evidence, the age of the witnesses, the arguments of the prosecution and defense. The author agreed that this man was a liar and probably engaged in violent acts against innocent civilians. And she stressed that claiming that a case is faulty is not condoning murder and torture.
The women in Hitler's life were a remarkable--not in a positive way--bunch. Leni Riefenstahl, the infamous actress and filmaker, loved Hitler, as did various secretaries. Hitler was attracted to beautiful women. Riefenstahl was a success in her own right; so why she attached herself to the madman is mysterious and bizarre. Again, extreme compartmentalization occured with these women's interactions with Hitler. Their observations and comments are mind-boggling and deeply disturbing. His final secretary calmly described meals with Hitler, attending to his needs, and transcribing his last will and testament. These females did not appear insane but must have been sociopaths in disguise.
"The blocking of memory is very simply the inability of the mind to take issue and deal with an experience which is unacceptable to the mind or spirit. It is very dangerous to block the mind: dangerous for the individual, his environment, but also in the context that has not yet even been touched upon tonight--to the whole community." Leopold Lowenthal (from The German Trauma by Gita Sereny)
Saturday, February 22, 2020
You May Not Like These Ideas--Difficult to digest
"These perpetrators are like serial killers, only they operate on a much larger scale, at a national or continental level. They certainly are not terrified, and they know that most people cannot and do not want to think of the possibility of an act of genocide. Ordinary people want to sleep, and the simple thought of genocide can prevent an ordinary person from sleeping. The perpetrators of genocide bank on this to set up mechanisms for mass killing in all tranquility: No one will be able to conceive, hence accept and want to believe, the truth."
Patrick Des Bois The Holocaust by Bullets
I have heard this train of thought before, and I believe it is true. If one cannot believe that a heinous act occurred, one can push the act of violence out of one's mind and forget. We do this everyday, since we cannot overload ourselves with horror. I would be beyond despondent. What does one pay attention to and what do we overlook is a question difficult for me to reconcile. Irregardless, pushing the unthinkable out of conscious thought partially explains why, for example, the United States did not act sooner to destroy concentration camps or accept more Jews into the country immediately before World War II.
The same can be said for the increase in shootings that have occurred in the last 20 years, especially in schools. The idea was inconceivable until it was ultimately understood that school shootings were a phenomenon. Israel is another example. Not before I was actually confronted with Jewish settlements and Palestinian villages in the West Bank, did I accept that Israel was engaged in an "Occupation". Previously, I had thought that Jews were incapable of racist governmental and military policies. My understanding was facilitated by compassionate tour guides who showed me the truth.
I am fortunate because I have the gift of seeing and believing. When I was 17, and I boarded a transcontinental train and saw separate train cars for "negroes" and "whites", I knew something was not right. Especially, since it was already 1968, and the "negro" car steadily became hotter, smellier and dirtier while the "white" car had air conditioning and was cleaned. From then on, I began to understand that the unthinkable was possible. However, the process has been long and slow.
The closer one is to an awful event, the more challenging to accept. Could Jews really be in favor of treating Palestinians as less than human? Could educated Germans look the other way when their colleagues and coworkers were treated worse than animals? Yes and yes. The leap from ignoring a homeless person to condoning murder is short. We think, "It's not possible. There must be an explanation. So and so was asking for it." And then out of sight, out of mind.
I saw this process in my mother, who is a Holocaust survivor, as the current president began showing his true colors a few years ago--banning Muslims, putting Central Americans in cages at the border, condoning the actions of white supremacists. She said, "Oh no, those KKK members and white supremacists aren't Nazis. Ach, no." I was not equating them with the Nazis of Germany in the last century, but there are similarities. My mother was unable to make that connection; it was just too frightening, most probably.
"I am a person who unites with others to fight evil wherever it resides, knowing that one can sometimes be influenced and become its actor or instigator...I am convinced that there is only one human race--a human race that shoots two-year-old children. For better or for worse I belong to that human race and this allows me to acknowledge that an ideology can deceive minds to the point of annihilating all ethical reflexes and all recognition of the human in the other."
Patrick Des Bois The Holocaust By Bullets
As horrifying it is to realize that we are all humans, capable of differing degrees of atrocious behavior, the idea demystifies and clarifies how people do what they do. Everyday, we need to observe our actions and those of others. I am not suggesting that we are all potential murderers, but we are capable of cruelty. Treating others badly, to saying something vile, to joining up with others, especially in certain circumstances can happen quickly as history demonstrates; threatening violence and actually commiting an act in a moment of passion go hand-in-hand, as police records or the news reports every day. Vulnerable people looking at sites on the Internet to feeling a camaradarie with others on the site to actually joining a hate group is a common road. I have no idea what happened to these typical people who murdered Jews with impunity; but, I have a hunch, it was not a long route from the Nazi youth groups to the army to shooting perceived enemies.
Patrick Des Bois The Holocaust by Bullets
I have heard this train of thought before, and I believe it is true. If one cannot believe that a heinous act occurred, one can push the act of violence out of one's mind and forget. We do this everyday, since we cannot overload ourselves with horror. I would be beyond despondent. What does one pay attention to and what do we overlook is a question difficult for me to reconcile. Irregardless, pushing the unthinkable out of conscious thought partially explains why, for example, the United States did not act sooner to destroy concentration camps or accept more Jews into the country immediately before World War II.
The same can be said for the increase in shootings that have occurred in the last 20 years, especially in schools. The idea was inconceivable until it was ultimately understood that school shootings were a phenomenon. Israel is another example. Not before I was actually confronted with Jewish settlements and Palestinian villages in the West Bank, did I accept that Israel was engaged in an "Occupation". Previously, I had thought that Jews were incapable of racist governmental and military policies. My understanding was facilitated by compassionate tour guides who showed me the truth.
I am fortunate because I have the gift of seeing and believing. When I was 17, and I boarded a transcontinental train and saw separate train cars for "negroes" and "whites", I knew something was not right. Especially, since it was already 1968, and the "negro" car steadily became hotter, smellier and dirtier while the "white" car had air conditioning and was cleaned. From then on, I began to understand that the unthinkable was possible. However, the process has been long and slow.
The closer one is to an awful event, the more challenging to accept. Could Jews really be in favor of treating Palestinians as less than human? Could educated Germans look the other way when their colleagues and coworkers were treated worse than animals? Yes and yes. The leap from ignoring a homeless person to condoning murder is short. We think, "It's not possible. There must be an explanation. So and so was asking for it." And then out of sight, out of mind.
I saw this process in my mother, who is a Holocaust survivor, as the current president began showing his true colors a few years ago--banning Muslims, putting Central Americans in cages at the border, condoning the actions of white supremacists. She said, "Oh no, those KKK members and white supremacists aren't Nazis. Ach, no." I was not equating them with the Nazis of Germany in the last century, but there are similarities. My mother was unable to make that connection; it was just too frightening, most probably.
"I am a person who unites with others to fight evil wherever it resides, knowing that one can sometimes be influenced and become its actor or instigator...I am convinced that there is only one human race--a human race that shoots two-year-old children. For better or for worse I belong to that human race and this allows me to acknowledge that an ideology can deceive minds to the point of annihilating all ethical reflexes and all recognition of the human in the other."
Patrick Des Bois The Holocaust By Bullets
As horrifying it is to realize that we are all humans, capable of differing degrees of atrocious behavior, the idea demystifies and clarifies how people do what they do. Everyday, we need to observe our actions and those of others. I am not suggesting that we are all potential murderers, but we are capable of cruelty. Treating others badly, to saying something vile, to joining up with others, especially in certain circumstances can happen quickly as history demonstrates; threatening violence and actually commiting an act in a moment of passion go hand-in-hand, as police records or the news reports every day. Vulnerable people looking at sites on the Internet to feeling a camaradarie with others on the site to actually joining a hate group is a common road. I have no idea what happened to these typical people who murdered Jews with impunity; but, I have a hunch, it was not a long route from the Nazi youth groups to the army to shooting perceived enemies.
Monday, February 10, 2020
The Argument for Serious Change
"...both principles and an insistence on engaging with a world that often doesn’t have space for them." Quinta Jurecic, Atlantic Magazine, 2/9/20
I read this quote in an article from Atlantic Magazine. The article focused on not losing hope or faith in our country, democracy, voters, etc. after the Senate acquittal of that man in the White House. The article did not add anything new, but the above quote popped out for me. And I thought, Bernie Sanders. That's the man who has principles and persists in a country that rejects his so-called Socialism. His brand of socialism does not scare me. With the exception of the extremely wealthy, there is not that much to lose for the balance of Americans. We will pay more taxes but get more in return. I already pay for my Medicare and extra costs that my supposedly good supplementary plan does not cover. I have very little coverage for dental care. No more acupuncture or psychotherapy, unless I pay out-of-pocket. Typical working people have high deductibles and skip going to the doctor for preventative carel
If one thinks of most Americans, they are worse off than me and my friends and relatives. All one has to do is walk into a Target, Giant Supermarket, or Walmart to observe who lives in our country--hard working, multi-ethnic/racial people, attempting to remain healthy, raising families, and hoping for the best. They are not the fancy schmancy elite. Most Americans are not the shoppers at Nordstrom or Whole Foods. I agree I am priviliged. I worked hard, as did my parents and grandparents, to achieve my economic level. I am not rich either, but I am probably a fading socioeconomic category.
It is time for the Baby Boomers to rise up again to protest what most people tolerate in our country. The majority of Americans frequently face expensive medical care, balancing budgets, and sacrificing summer vacations and other luxuries. They live in suburban/exurban subdivisions, crowded into mediocre townhomes, single family houses, or apartments. Their kids attend public schools and stay at home after school to wait for their parents to arrive from work. Those who are very bright and motivated succeed nonetheless; but many children are not thriving--doing their homework, eating healthy snacks, and going to an extracurricular activity every day of the week. These youngsters buy their snacks at 7-11 or CVS--chips, sweet drinks--and go home to play video games. They seem happy but are embarking on an unhealthy lifestyle. The sensible children go home; some are already on the streets doing who-knows-what. There is so much wrong, it is mind-boggling. What about our less well-off elderly, in sub-standard facilities or at their childrens' homes, mostly forgotten and ignored?
But, Sanders wants to make some radical changes. He will not achieve every goal he strives for, but the ideas will be seriously considered. We have to change, otherwise the problems of today will multiply during the next centuries. Unlike the Baby Boomers, the childrens' children of tomorrow will not know the same pediatrician for 18 years, visit a dentist regularly, get orthodontia, and go on vacations. Life will be different in all respects. But we need a leader with a humane vision, not one who lead people to a dystopian society.
I grew up in a home that modeled itself on the European lifestyle of the 1920's and 1930's. We ate healthy, were encouraged to be in the fresh air, attended camp, learned to swim, as a few examples. Our grandmothers took my siblings and me on outings and exposed us to music, art, and books. I did not live in an extremely stiumulating environment; my parents were too occupied with their wounds from the traumas of World War II. That European way of life has been over for many years. We, Baby Boomers, invented a stimulating lifestyle for our offspring, with varying degrees of protectiveness, indulgence and hyperactive pastimes. It was a post-hippie, natural foods, liberal, self-esteem oriented atmosphere, in which all children would succeed.
Now, several generations later, I am not sure where we landed. I see young parents popping unwashed blueberries in toddler's mouths, while the young ones watch educational videos on their parents' phones. They remain in strollers with pacifiers stuck in their mouths for longer than ever. If anything, the idea that all children will be brilliant has only increased. Kindness has taken a back seat, being best is popular. There are millions of children who do not eat blueberries, but they do watch videos of some sort. They do not get orthodontia at 9 or 10; they thrive or don't in school; they might attend church; and we hope for the best. The better off families have decent medical care, but the poor children go to the ER for a fever. Dentist, glasses? Only if their insurance covers these necessities, or they are fortunate to get medical assistance. Most high schoolers are obsessed with grades, test scores, and taking classes for which they are not cognitively prepared. STEM is in; writing, spelling, speaking, the social sciences are out! Vocational/technological training is still nil. We look down on our electricians, contractors, and plumbers, yet they have made excellent choices for practical and lucrative employment. More kids are going to post secondary educational institutions, which is promising. Their school debts are obscene.
Baby Boomer parents are already dying. Will we leave our grandchildren and great grandchildren a solid foundation or one that is crumbling into dust?
I read this quote in an article from Atlantic Magazine. The article focused on not losing hope or faith in our country, democracy, voters, etc. after the Senate acquittal of that man in the White House. The article did not add anything new, but the above quote popped out for me. And I thought, Bernie Sanders. That's the man who has principles and persists in a country that rejects his so-called Socialism. His brand of socialism does not scare me. With the exception of the extremely wealthy, there is not that much to lose for the balance of Americans. We will pay more taxes but get more in return. I already pay for my Medicare and extra costs that my supposedly good supplementary plan does not cover. I have very little coverage for dental care. No more acupuncture or psychotherapy, unless I pay out-of-pocket. Typical working people have high deductibles and skip going to the doctor for preventative carel
If one thinks of most Americans, they are worse off than me and my friends and relatives. All one has to do is walk into a Target, Giant Supermarket, or Walmart to observe who lives in our country--hard working, multi-ethnic/racial people, attempting to remain healthy, raising families, and hoping for the best. They are not the fancy schmancy elite. Most Americans are not the shoppers at Nordstrom or Whole Foods. I agree I am priviliged. I worked hard, as did my parents and grandparents, to achieve my economic level. I am not rich either, but I am probably a fading socioeconomic category.
It is time for the Baby Boomers to rise up again to protest what most people tolerate in our country. The majority of Americans frequently face expensive medical care, balancing budgets, and sacrificing summer vacations and other luxuries. They live in suburban/exurban subdivisions, crowded into mediocre townhomes, single family houses, or apartments. Their kids attend public schools and stay at home after school to wait for their parents to arrive from work. Those who are very bright and motivated succeed nonetheless; but many children are not thriving--doing their homework, eating healthy snacks, and going to an extracurricular activity every day of the week. These youngsters buy their snacks at 7-11 or CVS--chips, sweet drinks--and go home to play video games. They seem happy but are embarking on an unhealthy lifestyle. The sensible children go home; some are already on the streets doing who-knows-what. There is so much wrong, it is mind-boggling. What about our less well-off elderly, in sub-standard facilities or at their childrens' homes, mostly forgotten and ignored?
But, Sanders wants to make some radical changes. He will not achieve every goal he strives for, but the ideas will be seriously considered. We have to change, otherwise the problems of today will multiply during the next centuries. Unlike the Baby Boomers, the childrens' children of tomorrow will not know the same pediatrician for 18 years, visit a dentist regularly, get orthodontia, and go on vacations. Life will be different in all respects. But we need a leader with a humane vision, not one who lead people to a dystopian society.
I grew up in a home that modeled itself on the European lifestyle of the 1920's and 1930's. We ate healthy, were encouraged to be in the fresh air, attended camp, learned to swim, as a few examples. Our grandmothers took my siblings and me on outings and exposed us to music, art, and books. I did not live in an extremely stiumulating environment; my parents were too occupied with their wounds from the traumas of World War II. That European way of life has been over for many years. We, Baby Boomers, invented a stimulating lifestyle for our offspring, with varying degrees of protectiveness, indulgence and hyperactive pastimes. It was a post-hippie, natural foods, liberal, self-esteem oriented atmosphere, in which all children would succeed.
Now, several generations later, I am not sure where we landed. I see young parents popping unwashed blueberries in toddler's mouths, while the young ones watch educational videos on their parents' phones. They remain in strollers with pacifiers stuck in their mouths for longer than ever. If anything, the idea that all children will be brilliant has only increased. Kindness has taken a back seat, being best is popular. There are millions of children who do not eat blueberries, but they do watch videos of some sort. They do not get orthodontia at 9 or 10; they thrive or don't in school; they might attend church; and we hope for the best. The better off families have decent medical care, but the poor children go to the ER for a fever. Dentist, glasses? Only if their insurance covers these necessities, or they are fortunate to get medical assistance. Most high schoolers are obsessed with grades, test scores, and taking classes for which they are not cognitively prepared. STEM is in; writing, spelling, speaking, the social sciences are out! Vocational/technological training is still nil. We look down on our electricians, contractors, and plumbers, yet they have made excellent choices for practical and lucrative employment. More kids are going to post secondary educational institutions, which is promising. Their school debts are obscene.
Baby Boomer parents are already dying. Will we leave our grandchildren and great grandchildren a solid foundation or one that is crumbling into dust?
Friday, December 13, 2019
How one looks at a Disability, a Personal View
The latest brouhaha on some Autism sites is Greta Thunberg and her diagnosis of "high functioning Autism" or Asperber's Syndrome. To add to the controversy, Trump ridiculed Greta, obviously not showing the same respect we give his youngest son. Back to Greta--first and foremost, I do not know her. I have not seen her neurodevelopmental or psychological assessments. I do not know the adults supporting her and for what reason. So these are major caveats. She is a young person who is still developing. If I had been analyzed at 16, the conclusions would not be the same as an analysis of me at 26, 36, 46, etc.
To quote someone who wrote on Facebook--"She doesn't have the kind of Autism I see at my house." I could not say it better than that. Surely, she may have social issues, and that could be the reason why she has shunned school. Or she could be an angel or a child prodigy put on earth for us to come to our senses. I do not criticize her opinions or actions. For the most part, I agree with her.
I take umbrage with the idea that high functioning individuals truly are disabled. I am not including individuals who are blind, deaf, or physically handicapped. These people certainly are able to function at a very high level and still have a physical disability. To have a disability, such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Dyslexia, one must be disabled. If one has completed post secondary college levels or vocational education and has landed a job as an engineer, doctor, professor, writer, artist, plumber, electrician, etc. and is living a reasonably good life, one is not genuinely disabled. One may have issues, problems, concerns, and limitations. However, there are millions in our country who are sitting at home, languishing on the streets, or scrounging out a living due to some disability; could be Autism or any other number of diseases. A disability is not an excuse for not being at the top of the heap; an authentic handicapping condition impacts life at a fundamental level.
Autism is a serious, severe brain disorder, which is now viewed as a spectrum. I do not believe the originators of this diagnostic category or researchers of this condition foresaw that highly successful individuals would be categorized with this disability. Of course, there are a few rare exceptions. But let us focus on those who need our help. Let us shine the light on them, not on the rare genius who makes all of us feel good.
Not one of us is as successful or happy as we would like to be. We all display dysfunctional behavior. We have oddities, anxieties, weird habits, and strange quirks. But we do not qualify as having a serious neurological disability.
The difference is impact. What is the impact of our psychological or learning problems on our lives? Can we overcome our weaknesses? Can professional help alleviate the impact and facilitate improvement, such as the disorder does not interfere with our living? Is most of our life proceeding smoothly, positively, and productively? If the answer is "yes", one has overcome one's disability. One may be vulnerable for a recurrence and a reapplication of the diagnostic code.
The DSM--5 is the current source for diagnostic criteria of Autism Spectrum Disorder. This section most clearly decribes the impact of the disorder; here is the decription at its mildest level.
To quote someone who wrote on Facebook--"She doesn't have the kind of Autism I see at my house." I could not say it better than that. Surely, she may have social issues, and that could be the reason why she has shunned school. Or she could be an angel or a child prodigy put on earth for us to come to our senses. I do not criticize her opinions or actions. For the most part, I agree with her.
I take umbrage with the idea that high functioning individuals truly are disabled. I am not including individuals who are blind, deaf, or physically handicapped. These people certainly are able to function at a very high level and still have a physical disability. To have a disability, such as Attention Deficit Disorder, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Dyslexia, one must be disabled. If one has completed post secondary college levels or vocational education and has landed a job as an engineer, doctor, professor, writer, artist, plumber, electrician, etc. and is living a reasonably good life, one is not genuinely disabled. One may have issues, problems, concerns, and limitations. However, there are millions in our country who are sitting at home, languishing on the streets, or scrounging out a living due to some disability; could be Autism or any other number of diseases. A disability is not an excuse for not being at the top of the heap; an authentic handicapping condition impacts life at a fundamental level.
Autism is a serious, severe brain disorder, which is now viewed as a spectrum. I do not believe the originators of this diagnostic category or researchers of this condition foresaw that highly successful individuals would be categorized with this disability. Of course, there are a few rare exceptions. But let us focus on those who need our help. Let us shine the light on them, not on the rare genius who makes all of us feel good.
Not one of us is as successful or happy as we would like to be. We all display dysfunctional behavior. We have oddities, anxieties, weird habits, and strange quirks. But we do not qualify as having a serious neurological disability.
The difference is impact. What is the impact of our psychological or learning problems on our lives? Can we overcome our weaknesses? Can professional help alleviate the impact and facilitate improvement, such as the disorder does not interfere with our living? Is most of our life proceeding smoothly, positively, and productively? If the answer is "yes", one has overcome one's disability. One may be vulnerable for a recurrence and a reapplication of the diagnostic code.
The DSM--5 is the current source for diagnostic criteria of Autism Spectrum Disorder. This section most clearly decribes the impact of the disorder; here is the decription at its mildest level.
"Without supports in place, deficits in social communication cause noticeable impairments. Difficulty initiating social interactions, and clear examples of atypical or unsuccessful response to social overtures of others. May appear to have decreased interest in social interactions. For example, a person who is able to speak in full sentences and engages in communication but whose to- and-fro conversation with others fails, and whose attempts to make friends are odd and typically unsuccessful."
"Inflexibility of behavior causes significant interference with functioning in one or more contexts. Difficulty switching between activities. Problems of organization and planning hamper independent living.
"Supports", "decreased interest in social interaction", "problems making friends", "difficulty switching between activities"; "hamper independent living". These are the watchwords that distinguish a disabilty from an "issue", etc.
In conclusion, our research, funds, educational and vocational programs/opportunities should be for the most needy, not for those with issues most easily solved. We are attempting to help people not look for poster children or sound bites.
Sunday, November 17, 2019
Another Shooting, Another Week with a Thoughtless Leader
I feel angry and sad that we have a President who does not care a whit about anything of value, and there are so many kids who shoot up their schools. We only hear about the actual shootings. Certainly, there are potential events that are averted. Several years back, the President's wife wore a jacket that said "I don't care". She claimed it was a brand logo or design. I think this sentiment is where my thoughts come together--caring for others, seeing what is front of us.
How can "we" not notice these disturbed people? There must be someone who observed something off-kilter with the youth, who killed his peers and himself, but was afraid or just did not think to delve further. I think there is a certain prototype of individual that engages in these shootings, acts of violence and cowardice. I hope the Psychologists are studying this awful phenomenon. The perpetrators are actually not mentally ill or sick with a major mental illness, according to experts. Rather, very unhealthy emotionally bereft people who have access to firearms. Often, there is a history of gun use in the immediate environment. For example, this kid's father was an avid,"big game" hunter and abusive to his wife.
Obviously, we are missing something as a society. Often, the youngsters, mostly boys, are very smart and quiet. These kids do not receive much attention in school. Probably, their parent(s), teachers, and coaches are overlooking aberrant behavior, since the child is not causing trouble. Our society is obsessed with "bright" kids, so smart and depressed, disturbed children go unnoticed. Neighbors, friends, and teachers are afraid to communicate concern to parents for various reasons--legal, discomfort, fearful of reaction from parents, reluctance to get involved.
This teenager was a model student/youth, so that is not where the problem lies in this case. Violent computer and video games and movies seem to contribute to gun violence, but research does not support this theory. Spending time alone, staring at a computer screen for hours, must be harmful for a developing brain.
"When people assail me. They shall stumble and fall." (Psalm 27)
Perhaps, we are living in a time where God, a higher power, or Life is drawing our focus to evil, in the form of individuals who facilitate and committ senseless acts of violence. Maybe, we have been lollygagging and skipping along, consuming new devices, wearing new styles, traveling, eating/drinking, reading and not paying heed to what is happening in our own backyards. We are so busy praising children that we forget that admonishing them may be more important. Everyone on their phones, including babies, leads to a clueless society. So does worrying about the consequences of hurting people's feelings and saying something unpopular. We have a lawless leader, fearful legislators, indulgent parents, and celebrities committing unforgivable acts, for which they receive minimal punishment.
Your friends may be nice to you. But how do you and they behave on the road, in a line, at a store, at the movies, in a park? Adults with their heads down and kids with hoods up and earphones in cannot communicate or give eye contact. Let us look up and tune in to the sounds around us, as we walk and drive. I notice a great deal. I see flowers. I pick up trash, look at abandoned packages, and watch those around me--I have always been an observer.
Family and community connections and polite manners are vital for a caring society. Young people need to learn to respect their elders. Elders cannot be constantly complaining and demanding that life goes their way. Times change; nothing is or will be like it was. Kids are loud and messy and disruptive to peace and quiet. Teenagers move in groups, like packs of stray dogs. We forget that we caused a ruckus in our time. I see parents carrying their children's backpacks. What the hell is that? Young help old, not the other way around. It is nature and common sense. I always make my daughter carry the heavier loads. She is stronger.
"God will hide me in God's shelter in the day of trouble; God will conceal me under the cover of God's tent' God will set me high on a rock." (Psalm 27)
I pray that we return to a time when we no longer need police officers to guard us at schools and at religious, sports, political, transportation, and government venues. I hope for a time when I no longer look for escape routes or see grand pianos as something to hide under when I am in the choir loft. I hope for the day when we feel at least a bit safer and secure.
How can "we" not notice these disturbed people? There must be someone who observed something off-kilter with the youth, who killed his peers and himself, but was afraid or just did not think to delve further. I think there is a certain prototype of individual that engages in these shootings, acts of violence and cowardice. I hope the Psychologists are studying this awful phenomenon. The perpetrators are actually not mentally ill or sick with a major mental illness, according to experts. Rather, very unhealthy emotionally bereft people who have access to firearms. Often, there is a history of gun use in the immediate environment. For example, this kid's father was an avid,"big game" hunter and abusive to his wife.
Obviously, we are missing something as a society. Often, the youngsters, mostly boys, are very smart and quiet. These kids do not receive much attention in school. Probably, their parent(s), teachers, and coaches are overlooking aberrant behavior, since the child is not causing trouble. Our society is obsessed with "bright" kids, so smart and depressed, disturbed children go unnoticed. Neighbors, friends, and teachers are afraid to communicate concern to parents for various reasons--legal, discomfort, fearful of reaction from parents, reluctance to get involved.
This teenager was a model student/youth, so that is not where the problem lies in this case. Violent computer and video games and movies seem to contribute to gun violence, but research does not support this theory. Spending time alone, staring at a computer screen for hours, must be harmful for a developing brain.
"When people assail me. They shall stumble and fall." (Psalm 27)
Perhaps, we are living in a time where God, a higher power, or Life is drawing our focus to evil, in the form of individuals who facilitate and committ senseless acts of violence. Maybe, we have been lollygagging and skipping along, consuming new devices, wearing new styles, traveling, eating/drinking, reading and not paying heed to what is happening in our own backyards. We are so busy praising children that we forget that admonishing them may be more important. Everyone on their phones, including babies, leads to a clueless society. So does worrying about the consequences of hurting people's feelings and saying something unpopular. We have a lawless leader, fearful legislators, indulgent parents, and celebrities committing unforgivable acts, for which they receive minimal punishment.
Your friends may be nice to you. But how do you and they behave on the road, in a line, at a store, at the movies, in a park? Adults with their heads down and kids with hoods up and earphones in cannot communicate or give eye contact. Let us look up and tune in to the sounds around us, as we walk and drive. I notice a great deal. I see flowers. I pick up trash, look at abandoned packages, and watch those around me--I have always been an observer.
Family and community connections and polite manners are vital for a caring society. Young people need to learn to respect their elders. Elders cannot be constantly complaining and demanding that life goes their way. Times change; nothing is or will be like it was. Kids are loud and messy and disruptive to peace and quiet. Teenagers move in groups, like packs of stray dogs. We forget that we caused a ruckus in our time. I see parents carrying their children's backpacks. What the hell is that? Young help old, not the other way around. It is nature and common sense. I always make my daughter carry the heavier loads. She is stronger.
"God will hide me in God's shelter in the day of trouble; God will conceal me under the cover of God's tent' God will set me high on a rock." (Psalm 27)
I pray that we return to a time when we no longer need police officers to guard us at schools and at religious, sports, political, transportation, and government venues. I hope for a time when I no longer look for escape routes or see grand pianos as something to hide under when I am in the choir loft. I hope for the day when we feel at least a bit safer and secure.
Thursday, October 3, 2019
50 year High School Reunion
"And you are? Ah, yes, I remember you." Or "Oh, sorry, we were in such a large class, about 700." These were the salutations ringing through the spaces of the Lake Merced Country Club, outside of San Francisco, last Saturday evening. My fellow classmates were friendly and pleased to be among the healthy and living. We were soberly shocked about the deceased peers and eerily wondered who would be there in 10 years. As a whole, the 60 something alumni looked trim and healthy, very few obese people. The women were looking more coiffed than the men. The classmates who are Hispanic, Black, Asian, and other darker skin mixtures definitely aged the most beautifully.Where had the intervening years gone? The day before the party, some of us--former students--took a tour of our school, an interesting and ice-breaking experience. What a joy to see the young, inquisitive, busy youngsters, staying "after school" on a Friday, unheard of in our day! The kids were actually very friendly.
The sweetest bonds were from elementary school. Where did the intervening years go? Here I was, "Karen Levi", different but the same. I was touched by those who remembered me, being of the insecure type. More people recalled me or said they did than I ever expected; they seemed authentic, and I like to see the positive in people. Granted, I was in school with some of these individuals for about 10 years. (I attended K and 1st grade in another area of San Francisco.) My high school is an academic school, open to students from all over the city, so it did not offer non-academic courses, such as shop and home economics. However, it happened to be located not far from my elementary and junior high schools.
Seeing old acquaintences and friends reminded me that I have always been who I am. To be recognized was a validation of who I was then and now. The reunion was a coming-home in the truest sense, a return to the me of 17 (almost 18) who became the me of 68.We changed voluntarily and naturally, but we were subjected to a great deal of criticism, judgement, and comment. Added to that was the self analysis that occured, immense in our maturational years, when the emphasis on "self improvement" was so prevalent. Of course, I am a better version of the original Karen, but I have come full-circle back to myself, minus all of the self trash talk. My friends and acquaintences in school were not all that different from my present social circle. Now I am educated, both academically, professionally, and emotionally, not purely influenced by my parents.
The journey of traveling from my 17-18 year old me to 68 year old Karen was a winding road, complete with switchbacks, near disasters over cliffs, smooth riding, and driving through a fog; at times, I laughed, and then I cried. The coastal highway of the past 50 years has been a noteworthy trip. Hopefully, I am moving to the wider, straighter slightly inland highway, not boring but a bit easier to navigate. I am smiling about the reunion.
The sweetest bonds were from elementary school. Where did the intervening years go? Here I was, "Karen Levi", different but the same. I was touched by those who remembered me, being of the insecure type. More people recalled me or said they did than I ever expected; they seemed authentic, and I like to see the positive in people. Granted, I was in school with some of these individuals for about 10 years. (I attended K and 1st grade in another area of San Francisco.) My high school is an academic school, open to students from all over the city, so it did not offer non-academic courses, such as shop and home economics. However, it happened to be located not far from my elementary and junior high schools.
Seeing old acquaintences and friends reminded me that I have always been who I am. To be recognized was a validation of who I was then and now. The reunion was a coming-home in the truest sense, a return to the me of 17 (almost 18) who became the me of 68.We changed voluntarily and naturally, but we were subjected to a great deal of criticism, judgement, and comment. Added to that was the self analysis that occured, immense in our maturational years, when the emphasis on "self improvement" was so prevalent. Of course, I am a better version of the original Karen, but I have come full-circle back to myself, minus all of the self trash talk. My friends and acquaintences in school were not all that different from my present social circle. Now I am educated, both academically, professionally, and emotionally, not purely influenced by my parents.
The journey of traveling from my 17-18 year old me to 68 year old Karen was a winding road, complete with switchbacks, near disasters over cliffs, smooth riding, and driving through a fog; at times, I laughed, and then I cried. The coastal highway of the past 50 years has been a noteworthy trip. Hopefully, I am moving to the wider, straighter slightly inland highway, not boring but a bit easier to navigate. I am smiling about the reunion.
Thursday, September 5, 2019
Making Peace?
Battle, War, Combat, Fight--common terms used to describe a response to illness. This metaphor, as in the "War On Cancer," originated in the 1970's. However, the reader will be surprised to know that the use of military terminology hearkens back to the 17th century. The image of a soldier combating an illness with weapons is typically invoked by professionals and lay persons. I read blogs of people who have cancer, and the war vocabulary is a part of the patient's lexicon.
A few years ago, I thought in the same terms--be a warrior, "kill" the cancer cells, scads of "knights" on horseback attack the deviant malignancy with lances. A violent battle will be waged against the spread of dangerous cells; by all means, everything possible should be attempted to bring a person back to health, even a 91 year old. Get rid of the nasty tissue gone haywire. But, and here is the but.
Waging war, as a metaphor, is also utilized to face mental illness and drug addiction, as in the "War on Drugs". "We will do all we can to fight this"; "Why doesn't he fight harder?"; and "Why does she give in?" are phrases people use.
Americans seem to have difficulty accepting what we cannot control. We do not have dominion over nature. A sick body is a sick body; a sick brain is a sick brain. I love healing and health. But nature is independent of our minds.
I am powerless to conquer mental illness. Certainly, there are drugs and psychotherapy which eliminate or decrease symptoms, but the illness remains. Alcoholism is an excellent case in point. I am impotent to change my son's addiction to alcohol.
Many individuals I have met in support groups and workshops view me as complacent towards my son's addiction. Others have criticized me for "not trying everything in my power", not understanding that my son has to desire change before it occurs. (Though, of course, "others" are not privy to what I have attempted.) Evidently, I do not "fight hard" enough.Whatever that means exactly?
Common knowledge still purports that alcoholics are lazy. I admit to thinking the same on occasion. If my son drinks again, he is a loser, not a fighter. Truthfully, I do not know how it feels to be a substance abuser. But how can an alcoholic be a failure if his/her brain metabolizes alcohol differently?
How many obituaries read, "He fought the disease valiantly" and lost? The deceased did not lose. He became ill. My son did not lose. He became ill. I did not lose. I am helpless to change another's brain. Helpless sounds pathetic. I am far from pathetic. Each day, I strive to live life with joy, meaning and empathy. My son probably feels terrible when he drinks. He grew up with sensitive, educated parents who gave him all the advantages and assistance we could offer. Various treatment modalities were attempted with limited success.
Doctors are ultimately powerless in the face of cancer, mental illness, and addiction. I think physicians have difficulty experiencing the effects of cancer and treatment on their patients. When a doctor has eliminated all the remedies, vanquished in war, he/she tends to leave the scene of the battle. One rarely sees a doctor at the bedside when a patient is dying.
Cancer is one of our curses, like mental illness. People formerly died of common infections, diarrhea, heart disease. We have the ability to save most people from these illnesses, but we will never completely combat nature. This is so clear, as a hurricane batters an archipelago in the Caribbean.
We do not respect nature. Control over numerous aspects of our environment has been gained. And, one day, humans may be able to eradicate cancer and addiction. But we will never overcome the natural world completely.
Acceptance is difficult. I do not sit in a lotus position, repeating the mantra, "Illness come to me, I accept thee." I am frightened of cancer and other debilitating diseases. I seek to live by a basic tenet of Alcoholics Anonymous--turn an illness over to a higher power. But, I am not Mother Theresa. Witnessing a formerly healthy person struck down by a mental or physical illness is agonizing. I turn to anger, instead of sadness and acceptance. Only in the very old, am I able to be at peace with disease.
I am working diligently to live with problems and just be; to not feel required to act, especially when all therapies have been exhausted or refused. My aim is to tolerate negative outcomes or those I did not choose or imagine.
Living with repugnant results is antithetical to our belief that we orchestrate endings and beginnings. People ask, "How are you?" and I am supposed to respond, "fine". The next question is "How are your children?" How does one answer? "I am accepting life as it comes." Maybe, I should use that rejoinder. I believe most people want to hear--"So and so got a promotion in a start-up in California." And "So and so is pregnant with her second child." Some individuals turn their heads or walk away if one answers negatively, a response which is like putting your hands over your ears and yelling, "I can't hear you!".
A few years ago, I thought in the same terms--be a warrior, "kill" the cancer cells, scads of "knights" on horseback attack the deviant malignancy with lances. A violent battle will be waged against the spread of dangerous cells; by all means, everything possible should be attempted to bring a person back to health, even a 91 year old. Get rid of the nasty tissue gone haywire. But, and here is the but.
Waging war, as a metaphor, is also utilized to face mental illness and drug addiction, as in the "War on Drugs". "We will do all we can to fight this"; "Why doesn't he fight harder?"; and "Why does she give in?" are phrases people use.
Americans seem to have difficulty accepting what we cannot control. We do not have dominion over nature. A sick body is a sick body; a sick brain is a sick brain. I love healing and health. But nature is independent of our minds.
I am powerless to conquer mental illness. Certainly, there are drugs and psychotherapy which eliminate or decrease symptoms, but the illness remains. Alcoholism is an excellent case in point. I am impotent to change my son's addiction to alcohol.
Many individuals I have met in support groups and workshops view me as complacent towards my son's addiction. Others have criticized me for "not trying everything in my power", not understanding that my son has to desire change before it occurs. (Though, of course, "others" are not privy to what I have attempted.) Evidently, I do not "fight hard" enough.Whatever that means exactly?
Common knowledge still purports that alcoholics are lazy. I admit to thinking the same on occasion. If my son drinks again, he is a loser, not a fighter. Truthfully, I do not know how it feels to be a substance abuser. But how can an alcoholic be a failure if his/her brain metabolizes alcohol differently?
How many obituaries read, "He fought the disease valiantly" and lost? The deceased did not lose. He became ill. My son did not lose. He became ill. I did not lose. I am helpless to change another's brain. Helpless sounds pathetic. I am far from pathetic. Each day, I strive to live life with joy, meaning and empathy. My son probably feels terrible when he drinks. He grew up with sensitive, educated parents who gave him all the advantages and assistance we could offer. Various treatment modalities were attempted with limited success.
Doctors are ultimately powerless in the face of cancer, mental illness, and addiction. I think physicians have difficulty experiencing the effects of cancer and treatment on their patients. When a doctor has eliminated all the remedies, vanquished in war, he/she tends to leave the scene of the battle. One rarely sees a doctor at the bedside when a patient is dying.
Cancer is one of our curses, like mental illness. People formerly died of common infections, diarrhea, heart disease. We have the ability to save most people from these illnesses, but we will never completely combat nature. This is so clear, as a hurricane batters an archipelago in the Caribbean.
We do not respect nature. Control over numerous aspects of our environment has been gained. And, one day, humans may be able to eradicate cancer and addiction. But we will never overcome the natural world completely.
Acceptance is difficult. I do not sit in a lotus position, repeating the mantra, "Illness come to me, I accept thee." I am frightened of cancer and other debilitating diseases. I seek to live by a basic tenet of Alcoholics Anonymous--turn an illness over to a higher power. But, I am not Mother Theresa. Witnessing a formerly healthy person struck down by a mental or physical illness is agonizing. I turn to anger, instead of sadness and acceptance. Only in the very old, am I able to be at peace with disease.
I am working diligently to live with problems and just be; to not feel required to act, especially when all therapies have been exhausted or refused. My aim is to tolerate negative outcomes or those I did not choose or imagine.
Living with repugnant results is antithetical to our belief that we orchestrate endings and beginnings. People ask, "How are you?" and I am supposed to respond, "fine". The next question is "How are your children?" How does one answer? "I am accepting life as it comes." Maybe, I should use that rejoinder. I believe most people want to hear--"So and so got a promotion in a start-up in California." And "So and so is pregnant with her second child." Some individuals turn their heads or walk away if one answers negatively, a response which is like putting your hands over your ears and yelling, "I can't hear you!".
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