How Have You Changed in the past Four Years?

 I saw this question asked on Facebook and in the media. I recall the bleak day after our last presidential election. I crawled out of bed bleary eyed, dragged myself to a part-time job, and could barely speak. When I returned home, I plopped on my sofa in the middle of the day, which I never do unless ill. I was ill, so to speak, with despair. Of course, I called my sister and friends.

During the first days and weeks post election 2016, people I met appeared normal. Either they, like myself, were screaming internally, or they were unaware of the immense changes to come. The Shabbat after the election brought me some solace. It was the beginning of the Resistance movement and a strong camaradarie. The Rabbi asked the congregants to talk, as we sat in a circle. Many of us asked, "How could people vote for him?"

Returning to my original question, the change in me is utter shock and dismay that half of the population rejects truth in favor of  partisan politics. On a deeper level, I discovered that half of the country and the majority of Republican politicians and leaders accept outright lies, corruption, treason and crime. Naively, I believed that truth and morality were the final arbiters over political party. Politicians have stretched the truth forever, but Trump introduced a new era of anti-Democracy. Stupidly, I believed Americans would stand proudly for truth and goodness. Silly me, I expected Americans to respect the rule of law. Unfortuately, I have ascertained that fear, individual gain, and religious fundamentalism (Christian and Jewish) outweigh truth. When religious zealots choose death over life, we have lost the American spirit. When people listen to fear over reality, we have crossed the border into a bleak dystopic land. We are no better than the citizens from other nations whom we readily criticize. What has happened to F.D.R.'s words--"There is nothing to fear but fear itself?"

The list is endless--Muslim ban, loosening of environmental protection, anti-semitism, racism, police violence, collusion with Russia, adulation of the world's most ruthless dictators, and detention and expulsion of asylum seekers at our southern borders. Nothing matters anymore. Dead children at the Rio Grande River, over 200,000 dead from COVID-19, and numerous killed from random shootings does not sway predominately white people (of some privilege) to cheer for Trump and vote for him in two elections. Often, these voters pick one issue and are blind to what is occurring around them. For example,"Trump says he is against abortion, so I'll ignore eveything else." Or "My taxes will be lower and the stocks are doing better, so he gets my vote."  Continuting to believe Trump's crimes would dissuade people, I was so wrong. Lies are accepted because they assuage fears enough for these voters to suppress reality. Even an impeachment had no affect on the "base."

Now, this is the clincher. Even when friends and loved ones are dead, Trump's supporters refuse to change their minds. Death is evidently insufficient to awaken a person in denial. I live in a foreign country now. I was born here, but I do not belong. There is nowhere to go, especially with the virus. Where can a 69 year old retiree move to? Perhaps, by some miracle, Biden will win. I will be elated. But, these others are out there. We are not a United States of America. I am very sad. I was never a blind patriot. I criticized the leaders; I was skeptical of various policies and presidents.  But an ugliness has been revealed that will take generations to change. 

Despite the negative picture I have created, we Americans have experienced great changes in my lifetime. So why would people want to go back to segregation, a hierarchy that prevents minorities from participating fully in our society, the disabled back in institutions or on the streets, smokestacks spewing pollution, guns on people's belts, and an absence of health care for all? Is one selfish, misguided rationalization or fear strong enough to allow for the abuse of women, the handicapped, homosexuals (transgenders, etc.) and racial minorities? 

Evidently so.